Tonight, I’d like to feel my emotions
The intensity, the depth and in absolute proportion
Tonight, i want to perceive me
My mind, my heart and the fire which was forced to flee
You see, I’ve often been used
The comments passed on me were excessively lewd
‘Here, i give you my heart’ were the words I uttered a lot
But you see, the ardour in my claim was ignored in flot.
I fell in love with this guy once
Little did i know
I was no more to him than a mere bunce
Quite indecisively, i let him break me piece by piece
I lost the passion in my soul the day his hands on me started feeling like a leash
Effortlessly, he held me as if it was obligatory
My dissent somehow wasn’t as strong as his bigotry
That was the day i lost myself in all sorts
On love, that day, my belief i did abort.
You see, i was a girl who brimmed with confidence
But now, I’m merely reduced to a floret inside a fence
Ample time i took for myself to reach out
Distinctly,
I was taken aback by being called a seeker for clout
Indifference towards my body crept onto me
Just like the blood on my wrist I allowed to flow free
As i began to lose my ambition
My life halted and began to appear like a fiction.
Soundless screams my heart used to bear
As the little war i was fighting inside of me tore me down to tears
It took me a while to gaze myself in a mirror
As the solidity in me was lessened down to fear
I was no longer a conformist you see
I was different, my physique carved with cuts appeared to be artsy
For the first time I didn’t want to be unique
As this uniqueness left me incomplete
I sobbed, I grunted and i howled
I begged for myself to recuperate as I growled
Tonight, after ages, i bid to become strong
Tonight, after the suffering, i decided to undo the wrong
Tonight, I won’t let myself lose the war
Tonight, I’ll get back to being the girl that I adored
Tonight, I’ll let the monochromatic light let go
Tonight, I’ll let the lively hues concealed in me to flow
Tonight, I’ll belong to myself and no other
Tonight, I’ll become ferocious and cease the sorrow to go further
Tonight, you will witness my transformation into a lioness
Tonight, you’ll know that there’s much more to me beyond my kindness.
– Nishka Sharma
nishkasharma 